Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na
*****************************
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
*************************
Monday, December 3, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
· sardar to docter:"main chota pishab subah 6 bjay karta hon aur bara 7 bajay"
docter:"tu iss may problem kia hay"?
sardar :"oo jee meri ankh 8 bjay khulti hay"
· a husband n wife traveling in a train
husband:mera dil chahta hai kai tuje kutai kai aagaye daldo
another passanger sitting next to the husband
Passanger: BHaow BHAow!!!!
· nurse: congrats!! app kai ha beta paida howa hai
sardar: oye...!!! mere biwi ko maat batana mai aushe surprise donga.
· KISS IS A KEY OF LOVE,
LOVE IS LOCK OF MARRGE,
MARRIGE IS A BOX OF CHILDREN,
CHILDREN ARE PROBLEM OF PAKISTAN,
SO STOP THE KISSING AND SAVE PAKISTAN.
PLSSSSSSS…………….
· WADIYOON SE SOORAJ NIKAL AAYEA HAI,
FIZAAON ME NAYEA RANG CHHAYEA HAI,
AAP KYUN UDAAS BETHE HO,
AB TO MUSKARA DO HUMAARA SMA AAYEA HAI...
· Fizayen kehti hain pyar karo
hawain kehti hain pyar karo
ghatayen kehti hain pyar karo
lekin
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghar walay kehtay hain ke
tussi bahot chotay ho
thora intezaar karo
· Sardar: will u marry me ?
Girl: sorry i am lesbian
Sardar: wats a lesbian
Girl: i like to have sex with gals
Sardar: maar taali, I am also lesbian lolx
· Hair oil ki add main hair dikhatay hain,
skin cream ki add main skin,
toothpaste main teeth,
footwear ki ad main feet, aur Always Ultra ki add main
kuch nahi dikhatay,
``Jaag Sarif Jaag``
· Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…
· Doctor: Bolo kya taklif hai?
Mareez: Sotey waqt saans ko leney main taklif hoti hai
Doctor: Aaj sey 10 din sotey waqt saas ko nai
Saali ko ley ker sona
· Son asked his dad the difference between
LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF.
Father says; your Mom is my LOVE.
Our maid is my RILIEF &
I’m your dad- well, that’s my BELIEF...
· Sharma say 2 biwi-"Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi,
Is hisab se mein 2 shadian aur kar sakta hu.Biwi-
"Daropdi k v 5 pati the,tuje yaad hi hoga"
· Master2Banta-eh dus k Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Bnta-Sir g 6 hundian ne
Master-Oye Murkha,tenu kini vari keha k KACHHE ch hath pa k
Unglan na ginya kar
· Breaking News: Coke"ll launch a new soft drink in the world market
soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!
· Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia
: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.
· 1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai?
Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh,
Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee!
· Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,
Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo,
Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai,
Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
· What"s the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the
boundary.
· What"s the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai
· Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult
movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It"s ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.
· A gal puts coins in the weight machine to check her weight
its shows 58kg. she removes her sandle :56kg
then her jacket: 53kg
then dupatta: 52kg
then her coins got finish.
A baba in the que said" BIBI tum lagi raho coins bahut hain "
· In which place do women"s hair grows VERY THICK
and VERY CURLY???
ans:in AFRICA
· Child:Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom:Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child:Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain
· A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom
· Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
· Dil do to kisi ek ko,
Aur do to kisi nek ko...
Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..
Jab tak saccha dildar na mile,
try karte raho har ek ko.
· Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,
Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,
khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,
Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du
· Definition of "wife": $omeone who"ll $tand by you through all the
trouble$
which you wouldn"t have had if you had $tayed $ingle... :-)
· Wat a married man $ay# after years of marriage:-
My marriage i$ made of Tru$t & Under$tanding,
$he doe$n"t Tru$t me & I dont Under$tand her.
· dean - anybody caught going 2 ladie$ ho$tel will be fined r$.400 1$t
time, 700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. $tudent - how much 4 a $ea$on pa$$?
· $hah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha,
Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,
Har Khidki $e Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Ka$am, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
· 1 - me$$age - received -
1 - cute - per$on - $ent - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - reading - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - angry -
1 - monkey - i$ - $till - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - di$ - m$g - to - anodr - monkey !
· Unlike other$ your brain i$ a ma$ter piece,
It i$ divided in 2 part$ - left & right.
In left nothing i$ right, in right nothing i$ left.
· why do monkey$ love banana.... -
oop$ i am $o $orry ........ - that$ your per$onal matter!
· I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u"
Hey! Don"t get excited, I love other alphabet$ too...v, w, x, y, z !
· I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That"$ becau$e Meneka Gandhi $ay$ "Love Animal$" !
· VERY ... Cute, Gorgeou$, Geniu$, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in
Trillion$..
I think it$ enough abt ME, wht abut U....
· The rain make$ all thing$ beautiful. The gra$$ & flower$ 2.
If rain make$ all thing$ beautiful why doe$n"t it rain on you?
· to live a life v need brain$,reflexe$, luck,iq,knowledge
expre$$ion, perce ption,
n mental qualification. ....hat$ off to u,for managing without
them!!!
· Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
$tupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
$tupid Man + $tupid Woman = Marriage !
· Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Muke$h kai$a chal raha hai apna
reliance".
Muke$h: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik $e $unai nahi deta. call me on
my HUTCH mobile!"
· Ikhtiyarre tabba$um ki lau ko tarranume numayi$h $e aghaa dena...
Jo i$ka matlab $amajh aaye to plea$e mujhe bhi bata dena.....
· $incere Apology : If u dont like any of my $M$ n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont he$itate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
· What i$ a girl friend?
Addition of problem$, $ubtraction of money,
multiplication of enemie$ & division of friend$
· doc chopra P$ychotherapi$t wanted the name board to be painted
infront of hi$ clinic ,
but our $ardar painted " Dr chopra P$ycho the rapi$t ".
· When i open my eye$ every morning i pray to God
that everyone $hould have a friend like you....
Why should only i $uffer!!!
· Ai$i do$ti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har $afar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi do$ti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein
mile
· DON..
K SMS KA iNTIZAR..
TOu 11 MULKON KE GIRLz KAR RAHi HAiN
DON..
SiRF PAPPU BACHON KO SMS KARTA HAi..!!
Q K
DON KA TALAUQ PESHAWAE SAY HAi..!!!
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Khidki khuli,
Zulfain uudi,
socha husan-o-jamal ka didar hai,
lakin kismat phooti jab zoolfain hati,
Q k
ye to nahaya ho hai!!!
· us ne haathon pe mehndi laga rakhi hai
ham ne us ki doli bhi utha rakhi hai
mujhe pata tha ke woh niklay gi bewafa
isi liye hum ne us ki choti behen bhi phassa rakhi hai
· Mohabbat 1 se ho to bholapan hai
2 se ho tou apna pan hai
3 se ho tou deewanapan hai
4 se ho tou pagal pan hai
phir bhi counting na rukey to KAMEENA PAN hai
· 1 Day u"ll B $rpri$d 2 c Me Be$ide U,
U & Me laughing,
U & Me crying,
U & Me Dreaming,
U & Me holding on,
U & Me...
ju$t U & Me $itting in a MENTAL HO$PITAL & ME CHECKING U.
· From Mon to $un, >From jan to Dec,
From birth till my Death,
my feeling$ 4 u have never changed.
For me, you "ve alway$ been
...........a headache!
· Falling in love i$ a $weet ambition,
finding true love i$ a kife time mi$$ion..
Take my word, follow the indian tradition
& marry ur dad"$ Deci$ion !
· Maine poocha chand $e
"dekha hai kahin mere yar $a ha$in".
Chand ne kaha
"abey, itni upar $e dikhta hai kiya",
· it"$ funny when people di$cus$ LOVE MARRIAGE v$ ARRANGED- it"$ like
a$king $omeone, if $uicide i$ better or being murdered..
· $aa$ $aw her bahu $leeping with other man,
but $he didn"t tell her $on becau$e..
· What"$ the $imilarity beyween MOBILE and MARRIAGE- in both ca$e you
feel "aur thoda ruk jaata tu accha model milta"
· Sir NEWTON once sat in a contemplative mood in a garden
}and saw an apple falling down to the ground.
At once the idea of LAW OF GRAVITY came to his mind.
I Wonder sala 23 saal tatti karda riha, oh kehra thaley
dig k upar nu mur-di si udo usda dimag kithe si....!!!
· Theater me Nari-pradhan film chal rahi thi.
Ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli : Aaj ki nari kya nahi kar sakti?
Ek sardar khada ho kar bola : DIWAR PE SUSU.
· Shair of the day !
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
-
-
-
Nahati to NaNgi hi hogi
· Wife bought a new transparent nighty , Wore it in front of husband.
" Ismein tum bahut sexy laag rahi ho . wife= aapko batane ki
zaroorat nai hai , salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha
· Husband Apni Wife Se: Mera Dost
Aaya Hain 2 Cup Chai Lao.
Wife: Aap Jara Idhar Aayiye. Ghar
Mein Sugar Nahi Hain.
Husband: Koi Baat Nahi Mujhe To 1
Chamach Chahiye. Tum 1 Kiss Dena
Chai Khud Meethi Ho Jayegi.
Wife: Lekin Aap Ke Dost KO To 2
Chamach, Chahiye!!!
· Meaning of WIFE & HUSBAND.. Wonderful Item For Entertainment .....
handsome Useful Smart But At Night Dangerous
· Ladki ki t-shirt pe bani billi ko ladka ghoorne laga .
Ladki : kabhi billi nahi dekhi kya ?
Ladka : billi to dekhi par billi ko DOOODH ki rakhwali karte pehli
baar dekha hai
· Diffirance between aurat & mard phychology ?
Aurat chahti hai ki uski sari ichha 1 aadmi puri kare, aur mard
chahta hai ki uski 1 ichha sari aauraten puri kare
· Ek mechanical engineer ki wife ko delivery hui, wife ne husband ko
SMS bheja, aapka spare part aa gaya hai .
Husband ne reply mai poocha NUT hai ya BOLT ..?
o Legs utha ke karo,
Tange faila ke karo,
Ghuma ghuma ke karo,
Aage peechey dono taraf karo,
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga
Oye I"m talking abt Yoga
· Shadi karney aur mobile leney k baad 1 hi
cheez ka afsos hot hey. . . . .
Thory arsy baad leta to acha model mil jata
· Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab
Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
· Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when
a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
· An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl:
Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur
doosre inke din kum.
· In a crowed bus lady turns & said ?Bhai saab aap aacha nahi kar rahe ho.,
Man replied: itni bheed mai isse acha nahi kar sakta.........??????
· A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What"s the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income
· Koi saheli nahi to na sahi,
tere jaisa dost to mil gaya,
Chalo CHUT nahi mili to na sahi
hume CHUTIYA to mil gaya...
· Teacher: Who is Sania Mirza?
Student: Tennis player.
Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat?
Student: Penis Player!!
· What is the definition of a dhobi?
He"s the only man who can legally say to a married woman,"Kapre nikal
ke rakhna,main aata hoon."
· Dost tu mere liye bahot khaas hai,
Bass ab tujhse milne ki pyass hai,
jis din tu mere saamne aaya....
samajh lena teri GAND ka satyanash hai...
· Kehte hai ki aurat ke haath mein barkat hoti hai, bilkul sahi baat
hai 1 inch ki cheez lete hi 6 inch ka bana deti hai...............!
· Boy to gal: agar mein tumhe kiss
karu to tum kya sochogi?
gal: I think.. ek bevkuf jo pura USA
ghum sakta tha airport se hi vapas gaya...
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· If
2x2x2= 8
&
4x4x4= 64
than
13x13x13=?
socho socho
nahi maloom?
yaar
it mean
tera tera tera = suroooor
· A man married a traffic inspector
Friend: Howz your 1st night?
Man: She charged me Rs200 for overspeeding n Rs500 for wrong side entry
& 50 for no helmet!
· Director to Malika Sherawat, Suhaag raat ka scene hai aap usey
garam dhoodh ka glass deti hain
Malika: Glass sey hee dhoodh pilana tha tou mujhe kioun cast kia?
· Reema se ek program main kisi ne sawal pocha: aap subah auth ker
sub se pehle kia kaam kerti hain??
Reema: Apne ghar jati hon...
· judge: y u want divorce ?
man: main apni wife sy khush nhi .
judge 2 wife: yeh sai keh rha hay ?
wife: saaraa muhalla khush hy bus asi ko takleef hy
· Na kisi ko chero ko,
Na kisi sa panga lia karo,
Na kisi ko dil diya karo,
Na kisi sa dil li karo,
Healthy life jiya karo
Roz ROz Roz
GOOD MILK piya karo
· sardar key promotion ho gayi exective se manager wo ghar gaya
b.v ko new style main bataya "tu aj raat manager naal soye gi"
b.v behosh
· barsat ki us raat
woh larki
us ki geeli zulfain
us ke bheegay huay kapray dekh ke dil ne kaha
ye ullu ki pathi zaroor beemar ho gi
· anso nilklay tu aankhay meri ho,
dil dharkay tu dharkan meri ho
khuda kary hamry dosti itnee gehri ho,
k nokri tu karay aur salary meri ho...
· jab kissi ki taraf dil jhuknay lagay
baat aa kay zubaan tak ruknay lagay
to
to
to
to
vicks! khich khich door bhagaye
· I love you Everyday
I like you Everyday
I miss you Everyday
I want you Everyday
I need you Everyday
Kyon kay
Everyday ke baghair tea ka maza adhoora
· Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
NOthing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile
· I want a kiss from you
surprized??
but why??
aray baba
Kiss means
K> Koi
I> Intresting sa
S> sms
S> send karo
so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!
· Girl:i m going 2 b a mother!
Boy:but how?i have not done any thing with u!
Girl:dont worry.ur father has proposed me and i m going 2 marry him!
· indian President to Musharraf:hamare pas Ashwaria hai
Bipasha hai Shushmita hai. Tumhare paas kiya hai?
Musharraf: Hamare paas jagah hai sub ko le aoo..
· Once a guy said to a girl: Mam apki sendal badi piyari hai.
Girl said: Utaroon kaya?
Guy said: Mam jeans ziada pyari hai.
· I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.
…
…. Nice Ass!!!!!!! ;)
· Kaun Kehta hai k "Mobile" aur "Biwi" alag hain...
Dono ko paas rakhna parhta hai,
Dono ka khayaal rakhna parhta hai,
Aur dono ko raat mai charge karna parhta hai ;)
· Mallika Sherewat ke marne k bad uski kabar pe kya likhna hoga?
…………guess…………
SALI PEHLI BAAR AKELI SOYI HAI.
· A man Phoned & Asked: Hello is it 221714?
Oprator:Urdu Main Bolo,
Man:Do Do Aik Saat Choda?
Oprator:Nahin Sir,Yeh Cheif Minister House hai,
Teen Teen Aik Saat Choda.
· Definition of a Nurse:
A young and beautiful woman who
fingers u in all places and holds
ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be
Normal..!
· Boy 2 his girlfriend while making love :
Kyun na hum shaadi ker lien?
Girl: TUM sirf ride ka maza lo,
disneyland k malik banne ki koshish mat karo
· aap aurat ho ya mard yeh janne k liye neeche dekho
Idher neeche nai
apne neeche dekho :)
· Sardar k 8 bachon main 1 alag dikhta tha,
Jab sardar marney laga to us ne bivi se poocha
"ab to bata do yeh kis ka hai?"
Sardarni: Yeh hi to aap ka hai..
· Thought of the day...
Kabhi yeh mat socho tumhari girlfriend ne tumhe kitna sexy msg bheja hai..
Hamesha socho usey kisne bheja hoga....?
· A very Sexy n Attractive female employee to her boss
Sir, will u remove some thing from my breast?
Boss wow, whats that??
ur eyes sir…
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· Put ur
Hand
On my
Hand
& hold
My
Back
With ur
Other
Hand,
Touch ur Lips
With my Lips
&
Taste
How hot
I M!
Bas bas
Ziada
Free
Mat Hone
I
M
Only
A
Cup
Of
Tea..
· Ek ameer admi ne mazdoor se poocha,
SEX mehnat hai k maza,
Mazdoor ne jawab dia maza!,
Ameer: Wop kaise?
Mazdoor: agar yeh mehnat hoti to ye kaam bhi aap ham se kerwate...
· Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi basanti in kutto k samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat main ne chaddi pehni hi nahi hai...
· lady: Dr. jee mera bacha nai ho raha?
Dr.: tumhare husband main defect hai
lady: husband main defect hai puray mohallay main tou defect nai ho sakta na?/?
· Cream k add main face dikhaya,
shampo k add main baal dikhaye,
soap k add main hands dikhaye,
magar sale log"Wisper" k add main kuch nhi dikhaya
· Newly married couple Train se jatay huay surang se guzray.
Husband: agar pata hoa surang itni lambhi hai to main koi faida hi utha laita.
Wife: to wo aap nahi thay?
· girl:na chero larkiyan kay paap hoga.kal tu bhi kisi bachi ka baap hoga. boy:khuda karay teri baat sachi ho mujhe jo papa kahay woh teri he bachi ho.
· Blood test ke baad cotton na milne par nurse ne SARDAR ki ungli muh me le li, SARDAR nachne laga, bola abhi to URINE TEST baki hai..
· Be Careful!
aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki
mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.
please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon kay pehlay he bahut se
log deewanay ho chukay hain
· Bache k peda hone per bache ki dadi : lanat hai bahu...
8 saal main sirf ek hi bacha peda kia ?
Bahu : agar aap k bete k aasrey per rehti to ye bhi nahi hota
· Bacha: Mama kal papa kaam wali ko drawin room me sofe pr lita ker
Mom: Bus! beta rat ko jab papa ayenge to batana.
Papa aye raat ko.
Ma ne bete se kaha: Han beta kya hua tha?
Beta: Papa kaam wali ko drawing room me sofe per lita ker jo uncle
apke saath karte hai wo ker rahe the
· Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro
· When U were a baby, U played with toys.
Now U are a lady and U play with boys!!
· A pathan want 2 commit suicide,
When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend
& i can"t live widout my friend.
· Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good
· 3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: i also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
· Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai
· Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale gaye.
Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat nahi hai, kal aayenge
· Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn"t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
· A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
· Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti,
to ladki bhi nahi hoti.
· Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
· Which Part...
of a man"s body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
· When an apple is green, its ready to pluck.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...
VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near,
but I know what you were thinking.
· Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite............my lovely pyjamas
· Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani
antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
· Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..
· INDIA KI REET...
Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR...
Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR...
Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... a
ur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...
· School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!]
· Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
· Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din"t wear any of them.
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
because....
90% of the
boys are
right handed..
· One day there was this naked man and elephant,
the elephant looks at the naked man for a few
seconds, ask the naked man,
"HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
· !@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__
(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$%
aakhe faad ke kya dekh
rahe ho jaki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya
· BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY,DRINK A FROOTY....
TAKE HER TO OOTY,REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY.,
AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
· Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make SEX a daily habit,and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
· He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
docter:"tu iss may problem kia hay"?
sardar :"oo jee meri ankh 8 bjay khulti hay"
· a husband n wife traveling in a train
husband:mera dil chahta hai kai tuje kutai kai aagaye daldo
another passanger sitting next to the husband
Passanger: BHaow BHAow!!!!
· nurse: congrats!! app kai ha beta paida howa hai
sardar: oye...!!! mere biwi ko maat batana mai aushe surprise donga.
· KISS IS A KEY OF LOVE,
LOVE IS LOCK OF MARRGE,
MARRIGE IS A BOX OF CHILDREN,
CHILDREN ARE PROBLEM OF PAKISTAN,
SO STOP THE KISSING AND SAVE PAKISTAN.
PLSSSSSSS…………….
· WADIYOON SE SOORAJ NIKAL AAYEA HAI,
FIZAAON ME NAYEA RANG CHHAYEA HAI,
AAP KYUN UDAAS BETHE HO,
AB TO MUSKARA DO HUMAARA SMA AAYEA HAI...
· Fizayen kehti hain pyar karo
hawain kehti hain pyar karo
ghatayen kehti hain pyar karo
lekin
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghar walay kehtay hain ke
tussi bahot chotay ho
thora intezaar karo
· Sardar: will u marry me ?
Girl: sorry i am lesbian
Sardar: wats a lesbian
Girl: i like to have sex with gals
Sardar: maar taali, I am also lesbian lolx
· Hair oil ki add main hair dikhatay hain,
skin cream ki add main skin,
toothpaste main teeth,
footwear ki ad main feet, aur Always Ultra ki add main
kuch nahi dikhatay,
``Jaag Sarif Jaag``
· Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…
· Doctor: Bolo kya taklif hai?
Mareez: Sotey waqt saans ko leney main taklif hoti hai
Doctor: Aaj sey 10 din sotey waqt saas ko nai
Saali ko ley ker sona
· Son asked his dad the difference between
LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF.
Father says; your Mom is my LOVE.
Our maid is my RILIEF &
I’m your dad- well, that’s my BELIEF...
· Sharma say 2 biwi-"Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi,
Is hisab se mein 2 shadian aur kar sakta hu.Biwi-
"Daropdi k v 5 pati the,tuje yaad hi hoga"
· Master2Banta-eh dus k Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Bnta-Sir g 6 hundian ne
Master-Oye Murkha,tenu kini vari keha k KACHHE ch hath pa k
Unglan na ginya kar
· Breaking News: Coke"ll launch a new soft drink in the world market
soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!
· Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia
: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.
· 1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai?
Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh,
Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee!
· Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,
Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo,
Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai,
Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
· What"s the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the
boundary.
· What"s the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai
· Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult
movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It"s ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.
· A gal puts coins in the weight machine to check her weight
its shows 58kg. she removes her sandle :56kg
then her jacket: 53kg
then dupatta: 52kg
then her coins got finish.
A baba in the que said" BIBI tum lagi raho coins bahut hain "
· In which place do women"s hair grows VERY THICK
and VERY CURLY???
ans:in AFRICA
· Child:Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom:Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child:Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain
· A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom
· Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
· Dil do to kisi ek ko,
Aur do to kisi nek ko...
Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..
Jab tak saccha dildar na mile,
try karte raho har ek ko.
· Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,
Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,
khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,
Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du
· Definition of "wife": $omeone who"ll $tand by you through all the
trouble$
which you wouldn"t have had if you had $tayed $ingle... :-)
· Wat a married man $ay# after years of marriage:-
My marriage i$ made of Tru$t & Under$tanding,
$he doe$n"t Tru$t me & I dont Under$tand her.
· dean - anybody caught going 2 ladie$ ho$tel will be fined r$.400 1$t
time, 700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. $tudent - how much 4 a $ea$on pa$$?
· $hah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha,
Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,
Har Khidki $e Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Ka$am, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
· 1 - me$$age - received -
1 - cute - per$on - $ent - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - reading - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - angry -
1 - monkey - i$ - $till - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - di$ - m$g - to - anodr - monkey !
· Unlike other$ your brain i$ a ma$ter piece,
It i$ divided in 2 part$ - left & right.
In left nothing i$ right, in right nothing i$ left.
· why do monkey$ love banana.... -
oop$ i am $o $orry ........ - that$ your per$onal matter!
· I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u"
Hey! Don"t get excited, I love other alphabet$ too...v, w, x, y, z !
· I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That"$ becau$e Meneka Gandhi $ay$ "Love Animal$" !
· VERY ... Cute, Gorgeou$, Geniu$, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in
Trillion$..
I think it$ enough abt ME, wht abut U....
· The rain make$ all thing$ beautiful. The gra$$ & flower$ 2.
If rain make$ all thing$ beautiful why doe$n"t it rain on you?
· to live a life v need brain$,reflexe$, luck,iq,knowledge
expre$$ion, perce ption,
n mental qualification. ....hat$ off to u,for managing without
them!!!
· Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
$tupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
$tupid Man + $tupid Woman = Marriage !
· Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Muke$h kai$a chal raha hai apna
reliance".
Muke$h: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik $e $unai nahi deta. call me on
my HUTCH mobile!"
· Ikhtiyarre tabba$um ki lau ko tarranume numayi$h $e aghaa dena...
Jo i$ka matlab $amajh aaye to plea$e mujhe bhi bata dena.....
· $incere Apology : If u dont like any of my $M$ n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont he$itate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
· What i$ a girl friend?
Addition of problem$, $ubtraction of money,
multiplication of enemie$ & division of friend$
· doc chopra P$ychotherapi$t wanted the name board to be painted
infront of hi$ clinic ,
but our $ardar painted " Dr chopra P$ycho the rapi$t ".
· When i open my eye$ every morning i pray to God
that everyone $hould have a friend like you....
Why should only i $uffer!!!
· Ai$i do$ti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har $afar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi do$ti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein
mile
· DON..
K SMS KA iNTIZAR..
TOu 11 MULKON KE GIRLz KAR RAHi HAiN
DON..
SiRF PAPPU BACHON KO SMS KARTA HAi..!!
Q K
DON KA TALAUQ PESHAWAE SAY HAi..!!!
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Khidki khuli,
Zulfain uudi,
socha husan-o-jamal ka didar hai,
lakin kismat phooti jab zoolfain hati,
Q k
ye to nahaya ho hai!!!
· us ne haathon pe mehndi laga rakhi hai
ham ne us ki doli bhi utha rakhi hai
mujhe pata tha ke woh niklay gi bewafa
isi liye hum ne us ki choti behen bhi phassa rakhi hai
· Mohabbat 1 se ho to bholapan hai
2 se ho tou apna pan hai
3 se ho tou deewanapan hai
4 se ho tou pagal pan hai
phir bhi counting na rukey to KAMEENA PAN hai
· 1 Day u"ll B $rpri$d 2 c Me Be$ide U,
U & Me laughing,
U & Me crying,
U & Me Dreaming,
U & Me holding on,
U & Me...
ju$t U & Me $itting in a MENTAL HO$PITAL & ME CHECKING U.
· From Mon to $un, >From jan to Dec,
From birth till my Death,
my feeling$ 4 u have never changed.
For me, you "ve alway$ been
...........a headache!
· Falling in love i$ a $weet ambition,
finding true love i$ a kife time mi$$ion..
Take my word, follow the indian tradition
& marry ur dad"$ Deci$ion !
· Maine poocha chand $e
"dekha hai kahin mere yar $a ha$in".
Chand ne kaha
"abey, itni upar $e dikhta hai kiya",
· it"$ funny when people di$cus$ LOVE MARRIAGE v$ ARRANGED- it"$ like
a$king $omeone, if $uicide i$ better or being murdered..
· $aa$ $aw her bahu $leeping with other man,
but $he didn"t tell her $on becau$e..
· What"$ the $imilarity beyween MOBILE and MARRIAGE- in both ca$e you
feel "aur thoda ruk jaata tu accha model milta"
· Sir NEWTON once sat in a contemplative mood in a garden
}and saw an apple falling down to the ground.
At once the idea of LAW OF GRAVITY came to his mind.
I Wonder sala 23 saal tatti karda riha, oh kehra thaley
dig k upar nu mur-di si udo usda dimag kithe si....!!!
· Theater me Nari-pradhan film chal rahi thi.
Ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli : Aaj ki nari kya nahi kar sakti?
Ek sardar khada ho kar bola : DIWAR PE SUSU.
· Shair of the day !
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
-
-
-
Nahati to NaNgi hi hogi
· Wife bought a new transparent nighty , Wore it in front of husband.
" Ismein tum bahut sexy laag rahi ho . wife= aapko batane ki
zaroorat nai hai , salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha
· Husband Apni Wife Se: Mera Dost
Aaya Hain 2 Cup Chai Lao.
Wife: Aap Jara Idhar Aayiye. Ghar
Mein Sugar Nahi Hain.
Husband: Koi Baat Nahi Mujhe To 1
Chamach Chahiye. Tum 1 Kiss Dena
Chai Khud Meethi Ho Jayegi.
Wife: Lekin Aap Ke Dost KO To 2
Chamach, Chahiye!!!
· Meaning of WIFE & HUSBAND.. Wonderful Item For Entertainment .....
handsome Useful Smart But At Night Dangerous
· Ladki ki t-shirt pe bani billi ko ladka ghoorne laga .
Ladki : kabhi billi nahi dekhi kya ?
Ladka : billi to dekhi par billi ko DOOODH ki rakhwali karte pehli
baar dekha hai
· Diffirance between aurat & mard phychology ?
Aurat chahti hai ki uski sari ichha 1 aadmi puri kare, aur mard
chahta hai ki uski 1 ichha sari aauraten puri kare
· Ek mechanical engineer ki wife ko delivery hui, wife ne husband ko
SMS bheja, aapka spare part aa gaya hai .
Husband ne reply mai poocha NUT hai ya BOLT ..?
o Legs utha ke karo,
Tange faila ke karo,
Ghuma ghuma ke karo,
Aage peechey dono taraf karo,
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga
Oye I"m talking abt Yoga
· Shadi karney aur mobile leney k baad 1 hi
cheez ka afsos hot hey. . . . .
Thory arsy baad leta to acha model mil jata
· Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab
Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
· Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when
a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
· An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl:
Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur
doosre inke din kum.
· In a crowed bus lady turns & said ?Bhai saab aap aacha nahi kar rahe ho.,
Man replied: itni bheed mai isse acha nahi kar sakta.........??????
· A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What"s the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income
· Koi saheli nahi to na sahi,
tere jaisa dost to mil gaya,
Chalo CHUT nahi mili to na sahi
hume CHUTIYA to mil gaya...
· Teacher: Who is Sania Mirza?
Student: Tennis player.
Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat?
Student: Penis Player!!
· What is the definition of a dhobi?
He"s the only man who can legally say to a married woman,"Kapre nikal
ke rakhna,main aata hoon."
· Dost tu mere liye bahot khaas hai,
Bass ab tujhse milne ki pyass hai,
jis din tu mere saamne aaya....
samajh lena teri GAND ka satyanash hai...
· Kehte hai ki aurat ke haath mein barkat hoti hai, bilkul sahi baat
hai 1 inch ki cheez lete hi 6 inch ka bana deti hai...............!
· Boy to gal: agar mein tumhe kiss
karu to tum kya sochogi?
gal: I think.. ek bevkuf jo pura USA
ghum sakta tha airport se hi vapas gaya...
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· If
2x2x2= 8
&
4x4x4= 64
than
13x13x13=?
socho socho
nahi maloom?
yaar
it mean
tera tera tera = suroooor
· A man married a traffic inspector
Friend: Howz your 1st night?
Man: She charged me Rs200 for overspeeding n Rs500 for wrong side entry
& 50 for no helmet!
· Director to Malika Sherawat, Suhaag raat ka scene hai aap usey
garam dhoodh ka glass deti hain
Malika: Glass sey hee dhoodh pilana tha tou mujhe kioun cast kia?
· Reema se ek program main kisi ne sawal pocha: aap subah auth ker
sub se pehle kia kaam kerti hain??
Reema: Apne ghar jati hon...
· judge: y u want divorce ?
man: main apni wife sy khush nhi .
judge 2 wife: yeh sai keh rha hay ?
wife: saaraa muhalla khush hy bus asi ko takleef hy
· Na kisi ko chero ko,
Na kisi sa panga lia karo,
Na kisi ko dil diya karo,
Na kisi sa dil li karo,
Healthy life jiya karo
Roz ROz Roz
GOOD MILK piya karo
· sardar key promotion ho gayi exective se manager wo ghar gaya
b.v ko new style main bataya "tu aj raat manager naal soye gi"
b.v behosh
· barsat ki us raat
woh larki
us ki geeli zulfain
us ke bheegay huay kapray dekh ke dil ne kaha
ye ullu ki pathi zaroor beemar ho gi
· anso nilklay tu aankhay meri ho,
dil dharkay tu dharkan meri ho
khuda kary hamry dosti itnee gehri ho,
k nokri tu karay aur salary meri ho...
· jab kissi ki taraf dil jhuknay lagay
baat aa kay zubaan tak ruknay lagay
to
to
to
to
vicks! khich khich door bhagaye
· I love you Everyday
I like you Everyday
I miss you Everyday
I want you Everyday
I need you Everyday
Kyon kay
Everyday ke baghair tea ka maza adhoora
· Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
NOthing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile
· I want a kiss from you
surprized??
but why??
aray baba
Kiss means
K> Koi
I> Intresting sa
S> sms
S> send karo
so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!
· Girl:i m going 2 b a mother!
Boy:but how?i have not done any thing with u!
Girl:dont worry.ur father has proposed me and i m going 2 marry him!
· indian President to Musharraf:hamare pas Ashwaria hai
Bipasha hai Shushmita hai. Tumhare paas kiya hai?
Musharraf: Hamare paas jagah hai sub ko le aoo..
· Once a guy said to a girl: Mam apki sendal badi piyari hai.
Girl said: Utaroon kaya?
Guy said: Mam jeans ziada pyari hai.
· I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.
…
…. Nice Ass!!!!!!! ;)
· Kaun Kehta hai k "Mobile" aur "Biwi" alag hain...
Dono ko paas rakhna parhta hai,
Dono ka khayaal rakhna parhta hai,
Aur dono ko raat mai charge karna parhta hai ;)
· Mallika Sherewat ke marne k bad uski kabar pe kya likhna hoga?
…………guess…………
SALI PEHLI BAAR AKELI SOYI HAI.
· A man Phoned & Asked: Hello is it 221714?
Oprator:Urdu Main Bolo,
Man:Do Do Aik Saat Choda?
Oprator:Nahin Sir,Yeh Cheif Minister House hai,
Teen Teen Aik Saat Choda.
· Definition of a Nurse:
A young and beautiful woman who
fingers u in all places and holds
ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be
Normal..!
· Boy 2 his girlfriend while making love :
Kyun na hum shaadi ker lien?
Girl: TUM sirf ride ka maza lo,
disneyland k malik banne ki koshish mat karo
· aap aurat ho ya mard yeh janne k liye neeche dekho
Idher neeche nai
apne neeche dekho :)
· Sardar k 8 bachon main 1 alag dikhta tha,
Jab sardar marney laga to us ne bivi se poocha
"ab to bata do yeh kis ka hai?"
Sardarni: Yeh hi to aap ka hai..
· Thought of the day...
Kabhi yeh mat socho tumhari girlfriend ne tumhe kitna sexy msg bheja hai..
Hamesha socho usey kisne bheja hoga....?
· A very Sexy n Attractive female employee to her boss
Sir, will u remove some thing from my breast?
Boss wow, whats that??
ur eyes sir…
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· Put ur
Hand
On my
Hand
& hold
My
Back
With ur
Other
Hand,
Touch ur Lips
With my Lips
&
Taste
How hot
I M!
Bas bas
Ziada
Free
Mat Hone
I
M
Only
A
Cup
Of
Tea..
· Ek ameer admi ne mazdoor se poocha,
SEX mehnat hai k maza,
Mazdoor ne jawab dia maza!,
Ameer: Wop kaise?
Mazdoor: agar yeh mehnat hoti to ye kaam bhi aap ham se kerwate...
· Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi basanti in kutto k samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat main ne chaddi pehni hi nahi hai...
· lady: Dr. jee mera bacha nai ho raha?
Dr.: tumhare husband main defect hai
lady: husband main defect hai puray mohallay main tou defect nai ho sakta na?/?
· Cream k add main face dikhaya,
shampo k add main baal dikhaye,
soap k add main hands dikhaye,
magar sale log"Wisper" k add main kuch nhi dikhaya
· Newly married couple Train se jatay huay surang se guzray.
Husband: agar pata hoa surang itni lambhi hai to main koi faida hi utha laita.
Wife: to wo aap nahi thay?
· girl:na chero larkiyan kay paap hoga.kal tu bhi kisi bachi ka baap hoga. boy:khuda karay teri baat sachi ho mujhe jo papa kahay woh teri he bachi ho.
· Blood test ke baad cotton na milne par nurse ne SARDAR ki ungli muh me le li, SARDAR nachne laga, bola abhi to URINE TEST baki hai..
· Be Careful!
aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki
mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.
please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon kay pehlay he bahut se
log deewanay ho chukay hain
· Bache k peda hone per bache ki dadi : lanat hai bahu...
8 saal main sirf ek hi bacha peda kia ?
Bahu : agar aap k bete k aasrey per rehti to ye bhi nahi hota
· Bacha: Mama kal papa kaam wali ko drawin room me sofe pr lita ker
Mom: Bus! beta rat ko jab papa ayenge to batana.
Papa aye raat ko.
Ma ne bete se kaha: Han beta kya hua tha?
Beta: Papa kaam wali ko drawing room me sofe per lita ker jo uncle
apke saath karte hai wo ker rahe the
· Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro
· When U were a baby, U played with toys.
Now U are a lady and U play with boys!!
· A pathan want 2 commit suicide,
When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend
& i can"t live widout my friend.
· Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good
· 3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: i also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
· Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai
· Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale gaye.
Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat nahi hai, kal aayenge
· Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn"t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
· A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
· Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti,
to ladki bhi nahi hoti.
· Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
· Which Part...
of a man"s body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
· When an apple is green, its ready to pluck.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...
VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near,
but I know what you were thinking.
· Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite............my lovely pyjamas
· Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani
antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
· Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..
· INDIA KI REET...
Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR...
Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR...
Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... a
ur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...
· School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!]
· Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
· Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din"t wear any of them.
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
because....
90% of the
boys are
right handed..
· One day there was this naked man and elephant,
the elephant looks at the naked man for a few
seconds, ask the naked man,
"HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
· !@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__
(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$%
aakhe faad ke kya dekh
rahe ho jaki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya
· BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY,DRINK A FROOTY....
TAKE HER TO OOTY,REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY.,
AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
· Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make SEX a daily habit,and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
· He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
· sardar to docter:"main chota pishab subah 6 bjay karta hon aur bara 7 bajay"
docter:"tu iss may problem kia hay"?
sardar :"oo jee meri ankh 8 bjay khulti hay"
· a husband n wife traveling in a train
husband:mera dil chahta hai kai tuje kutai kai aagaye daldo
another passanger sitting next to the husband
Passanger: BHaow BHAow!!!!
· nurse: congrats!! app kai ha beta paida howa hai
sardar: oye...!!! mere biwi ko maat batana mai aushe surprise donga.
· KISS IS A KEY OF LOVE,
LOVE IS LOCK OF MARRGE,
MARRIGE IS A BOX OF CHILDREN,
CHILDREN ARE PROBLEM OF PAKISTAN,
SO STOP THE KISSING AND SAVE PAKISTAN.
PLSSSSSSS…………….
· WADIYOON SE SOORAJ NIKAL AAYEA HAI,
FIZAAON ME NAYEA RANG CHHAYEA HAI,
AAP KYUN UDAAS BETHE HO,
AB TO MUSKARA DO HUMAARA SMA AAYEA HAI...
· Fizayen kehti hain pyar karo
hawain kehti hain pyar karo
ghatayen kehti hain pyar karo
lekin
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghar walay kehtay hain ke
tussi bahot chotay ho
thora intezaar karo
· Sardar: will u marry me ?
Girl: sorry i am lesbian
Sardar: wats a lesbian
Girl: i like to have sex with gals
Sardar: maar taali, I am also lesbian lolx
· Hair oil ki add main hair dikhatay hain,
skin cream ki add main skin,
toothpaste main teeth,
footwear ki ad main feet, aur Always Ultra ki add main
kuch nahi dikhatay,
``Jaag Sarif Jaag``
· Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…
· Doctor: Bolo kya taklif hai?
Mareez: Sotey waqt saans ko leney main taklif hoti hai
Doctor: Aaj sey 10 din sotey waqt saas ko nai
Saali ko ley ker sona
· Son asked his dad the difference between
LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF.
Father says; your Mom is my LOVE.
Our maid is my RILIEF &
I’m your dad- well, that’s my BELIEF...
· Sharma say 2 biwi-"Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi,
Is hisab se mein 2 shadian aur kar sakta hu.Biwi-
"Daropdi k v 5 pati the,tuje yaad hi hoga"
· Master2Banta-eh dus k Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Bnta-Sir g 6 hundian ne
Master-Oye Murkha,tenu kini vari keha k KACHHE ch hath pa k
Unglan na ginya kar
· Breaking News: Coke"ll launch a new soft drink in the world market
soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!
· Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia
: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.
· 1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai?
Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh,
Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee!
· Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,
Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo,
Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai,
Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
· What"s the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the
boundary.
· What"s the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai
· Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult
movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It"s ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.
· A gal puts coins in the weight machine to check her weight
its shows 58kg. she removes her sandle :56kg
then her jacket: 53kg
then dupatta: 52kg
then her coins got finish.
A baba in the que said" BIBI tum lagi raho coins bahut hain "
· In which place do women"s hair grows VERY THICK
and VERY CURLY???
ans:in AFRICA
· Child:Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom:Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child:Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain
· A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom
· Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
· Dil do to kisi ek ko,
Aur do to kisi nek ko...
Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..
Jab tak saccha dildar na mile,
try karte raho har ek ko.
· Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,
Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,
khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,
Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du
· Definition of "wife": $omeone who"ll $tand by you through all the
trouble$
which you wouldn"t have had if you had $tayed $ingle... :-)
· Wat a married man $ay# after years of marriage:-
My marriage i$ made of Tru$t & Under$tanding,
$he doe$n"t Tru$t me & I dont Under$tand her.
· dean - anybody caught going 2 ladie$ ho$tel will be fined r$.400 1$t
time, 700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. $tudent - how much 4 a $ea$on pa$$?
· $hah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha,
Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,
Har Khidki $e Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Ka$am, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
· 1 - me$$age - received -
1 - cute - per$on - $ent - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - reading - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - angry -
1 - monkey - i$ - $till - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - di$ - m$g - to - anodr - monkey !
· Unlike other$ your brain i$ a ma$ter piece,
It i$ divided in 2 part$ - left & right.
In left nothing i$ right, in right nothing i$ left.
· why do monkey$ love banana.... -
oop$ i am $o $orry ........ - that$ your per$onal matter!
· I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u"
Hey! Don"t get excited, I love other alphabet$ too...v, w, x, y, z !
· I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That"$ becau$e Meneka Gandhi $ay$ "Love Animal$" !
· VERY ... Cute, Gorgeou$, Geniu$, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in
Trillion$..
I think it$ enough abt ME, wht abut U....
· The rain make$ all thing$ beautiful. The gra$$ & flower$ 2.
If rain make$ all thing$ beautiful why doe$n"t it rain on you?
· to live a life v need brain$,reflexe$, luck,iq,knowledge
expre$$ion, perce ption,
n mental qualification. ....hat$ off to u,for managing without
them!!!
· Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
$tupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
$tupid Man + $tupid Woman = Marriage !
· Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Muke$h kai$a chal raha hai apna
reliance".
Muke$h: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik $e $unai nahi deta. call me on
my HUTCH mobile!"
· Ikhtiyarre tabba$um ki lau ko tarranume numayi$h $e aghaa dena...
Jo i$ka matlab $amajh aaye to plea$e mujhe bhi bata dena.....
· $incere Apology : If u dont like any of my $M$ n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont he$itate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
· What i$ a girl friend?
Addition of problem$, $ubtraction of money,
multiplication of enemie$ & division of friend$
· doc chopra P$ychotherapi$t wanted the name board to be painted
infront of hi$ clinic ,
but our $ardar painted " Dr chopra P$ycho the rapi$t ".
· When i open my eye$ every morning i pray to God
that everyone $hould have a friend like you....
Why should only i $uffer!!!
· Ai$i do$ti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har $afar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi do$ti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein
mile
· DON..
K SMS KA iNTIZAR..
TOu 11 MULKON KE GIRLz KAR RAHi HAiN
DON..
SiRF PAPPU BACHON KO SMS KARTA HAi..!!
Q K
DON KA TALAUQ PESHAWAE SAY HAi..!!!
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Khidki khuli,
Zulfain uudi,
socha husan-o-jamal ka didar hai,
lakin kismat phooti jab zoolfain hati,
Q k
ye to nahaya ho hai!!!
· us ne haathon pe mehndi laga rakhi hai
ham ne us ki doli bhi utha rakhi hai
mujhe pata tha ke woh niklay gi bewafa
isi liye hum ne us ki choti behen bhi phassa rakhi hai
· Mohabbat 1 se ho to bholapan hai
2 se ho tou apna pan hai
3 se ho tou deewanapan hai
4 se ho tou pagal pan hai
phir bhi counting na rukey to KAMEENA PAN hai
· 1 Day u"ll B $rpri$d 2 c Me Be$ide U,
U & Me laughing,
U & Me crying,
U & Me Dreaming,
U & Me holding on,
U & Me...
ju$t U & Me $itting in a MENTAL HO$PITAL & ME CHECKING U.
· From Mon to $un, >From jan to Dec,
From birth till my Death,
my feeling$ 4 u have never changed.
For me, you "ve alway$ been
...........a headache!
· Falling in love i$ a $weet ambition,
finding true love i$ a kife time mi$$ion..
Take my word, follow the indian tradition
& marry ur dad"$ Deci$ion !
· Maine poocha chand $e
"dekha hai kahin mere yar $a ha$in".
Chand ne kaha
"abey, itni upar $e dikhta hai kiya",
· it"$ funny when people di$cus$ LOVE MARRIAGE v$ ARRANGED- it"$ like
a$king $omeone, if $uicide i$ better or being murdered..
· $aa$ $aw her bahu $leeping with other man,
but $he didn"t tell her $on becau$e..
· What"$ the $imilarity beyween MOBILE and MARRIAGE- in both ca$e you
feel "aur thoda ruk jaata tu accha model milta"
· Sir NEWTON once sat in a contemplative mood in a garden
}and saw an apple falling down to the ground.
At once the idea of LAW OF GRAVITY came to his mind.
I Wonder sala 23 saal tatti karda riha, oh kehra thaley
dig k upar nu mur-di si udo usda dimag kithe si....!!!
· Theater me Nari-pradhan film chal rahi thi.
Ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli : Aaj ki nari kya nahi kar sakti?
Ek sardar khada ho kar bola : DIWAR PE SUSU.
· Shair of the day !
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
-
-
-
Nahati to NaNgi hi hogi
· Wife bought a new transparent nighty , Wore it in front of husband.
" Ismein tum bahut sexy laag rahi ho . wife= aapko batane ki
zaroorat nai hai , salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha
· Husband Apni Wife Se: Mera Dost
Aaya Hain 2 Cup Chai Lao.
Wife: Aap Jara Idhar Aayiye. Ghar
Mein Sugar Nahi Hain.
Husband: Koi Baat Nahi Mujhe To 1
Chamach Chahiye. Tum 1 Kiss Dena
Chai Khud Meethi Ho Jayegi.
Wife: Lekin Aap Ke Dost KO To 2
Chamach, Chahiye!!!
· Meaning of WIFE & HUSBAND.. Wonderful Item For Entertainment .....
handsome Useful Smart But At Night Dangerous
· Ladki ki t-shirt pe bani billi ko ladka ghoorne laga .
Ladki : kabhi billi nahi dekhi kya ?
Ladka : billi to dekhi par billi ko DOOODH ki rakhwali karte pehli
baar dekha hai
· Diffirance between aurat & mard phychology ?
Aurat chahti hai ki uski sari ichha 1 aadmi puri kare, aur mard
chahta hai ki uski 1 ichha sari aauraten puri kare
· Ek mechanical engineer ki wife ko delivery hui, wife ne husband ko
SMS bheja, aapka spare part aa gaya hai .
Husband ne reply mai poocha NUT hai ya BOLT ..?
o Legs utha ke karo,
Tange faila ke karo,
Ghuma ghuma ke karo,
Aage peechey dono taraf karo,
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga
Oye I"m talking abt Yoga
· Shadi karney aur mobile leney k baad 1 hi
cheez ka afsos hot hey. . . . .
Thory arsy baad leta to acha model mil jata
· Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab
Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
· Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when
a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
· An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl:
Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur
doosre inke din kum.
· In a crowed bus lady turns & said ?Bhai saab aap aacha nahi kar rahe ho.,
Man replied: itni bheed mai isse acha nahi kar sakta.........??????
· A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What"s the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income
· Koi saheli nahi to na sahi,
tere jaisa dost to mil gaya,
Chalo CHUT nahi mili to na sahi
hume CHUTIYA to mil gaya...
· Teacher: Who is Sania Mirza?
Student: Tennis player.
Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat?
Student: Penis Player!!
· What is the definition of a dhobi?
He"s the only man who can legally say to a married woman,"Kapre nikal
ke rakhna,main aata hoon."
· Dost tu mere liye bahot khaas hai,
Bass ab tujhse milne ki pyass hai,
jis din tu mere saamne aaya....
samajh lena teri GAND ka satyanash hai...
· Kehte hai ki aurat ke haath mein barkat hoti hai, bilkul sahi baat
hai 1 inch ki cheez lete hi 6 inch ka bana deti hai...............!
· Boy to gal: agar mein tumhe kiss
karu to tum kya sochogi?
gal: I think.. ek bevkuf jo pura USA
ghum sakta tha airport se hi vapas gaya...
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· If
2x2x2= 8
&
4x4x4= 64
than
13x13x13=?
socho socho
nahi maloom?
yaar
it mean
tera tera tera = suroooor
· A man married a traffic inspector
Friend: Howz your 1st night?
Man: She charged me Rs200 for overspeeding n Rs500 for wrong side entry
& 50 for no helmet!
· Director to Malika Sherawat, Suhaag raat ka scene hai aap usey
garam dhoodh ka glass deti hain
Malika: Glass sey hee dhoodh pilana tha tou mujhe kioun cast kia?
· Reema se ek program main kisi ne sawal pocha: aap subah auth ker
sub se pehle kia kaam kerti hain??
Reema: Apne ghar jati hon...
· judge: y u want divorce ?
man: main apni wife sy khush nhi .
judge 2 wife: yeh sai keh rha hay ?
wife: saaraa muhalla khush hy bus asi ko takleef hy
· Na kisi ko chero ko,
Na kisi sa panga lia karo,
Na kisi ko dil diya karo,
Na kisi sa dil li karo,
Healthy life jiya karo
Roz ROz Roz
GOOD MILK piya karo
· sardar key promotion ho gayi exective se manager wo ghar gaya
b.v ko new style main bataya "tu aj raat manager naal soye gi"
b.v behosh
· barsat ki us raat
woh larki
us ki geeli zulfain
us ke bheegay huay kapray dekh ke dil ne kaha
ye ullu ki pathi zaroor beemar ho gi
· anso nilklay tu aankhay meri ho,
dil dharkay tu dharkan meri ho
khuda kary hamry dosti itnee gehri ho,
k nokri tu karay aur salary meri ho...
· jab kissi ki taraf dil jhuknay lagay
baat aa kay zubaan tak ruknay lagay
to
to
to
to
vicks! khich khich door bhagaye
· I love you Everyday
I like you Everyday
I miss you Everyday
I want you Everyday
I need you Everyday
Kyon kay
Everyday ke baghair tea ka maza adhoora
· Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
NOthing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile
· I want a kiss from you
surprized??
but why??
aray baba
Kiss means
K> Koi
I> Intresting sa
S> sms
S> send karo
so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!
· Girl:i m going 2 b a mother!
Boy:but how?i have not done any thing with u!
Girl:dont worry.ur father has proposed me and i m going 2 marry him!
· indian President to Musharraf:hamare pas Ashwaria hai
Bipasha hai Shushmita hai. Tumhare paas kiya hai?
Musharraf: Hamare paas jagah hai sub ko le aoo..
· Once a guy said to a girl: Mam apki sendal badi piyari hai.
Girl said: Utaroon kaya?
Guy said: Mam jeans ziada pyari hai.
· I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.
…
…. Nice Ass!!!!!!! ;)
· Kaun Kehta hai k "Mobile" aur "Biwi" alag hain...
Dono ko paas rakhna parhta hai,
Dono ka khayaal rakhna parhta hai,
Aur dono ko raat mai charge karna parhta hai ;)
· Mallika Sherewat ke marne k bad uski kabar pe kya likhna hoga?
…………guess…………
SALI PEHLI BAAR AKELI SOYI HAI.
· A man Phoned & Asked: Hello is it 221714?
Oprator:Urdu Main Bolo,
Man:Do Do Aik Saat Choda?
Oprator:Nahin Sir,Yeh Cheif Minister House hai,
Teen Teen Aik Saat Choda.
· Definition of a Nurse:
A young and beautiful woman who
fingers u in all places and holds
ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be
Normal..!
· Boy 2 his girlfriend while making love :
Kyun na hum shaadi ker lien?
Girl: TUM sirf ride ka maza lo,
disneyland k malik banne ki koshish mat karo
· aap aurat ho ya mard yeh janne k liye neeche dekho
Idher neeche nai
apne neeche dekho :)
· Sardar k 8 bachon main 1 alag dikhta tha,
Jab sardar marney laga to us ne bivi se poocha
"ab to bata do yeh kis ka hai?"
Sardarni: Yeh hi to aap ka hai..
· Thought of the day...
Kabhi yeh mat socho tumhari girlfriend ne tumhe kitna sexy msg bheja hai..
Hamesha socho usey kisne bheja hoga....?
· A very Sexy n Attractive female employee to her boss
Sir, will u remove some thing from my breast?
Boss wow, whats that??
ur eyes sir…
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· Put ur
Hand
On my
Hand
& hold
My
Back
With ur
Other
Hand,
Touch ur Lips
With my Lips
&
Taste
How hot
I M!
Bas bas
Ziada
Free
Mat Hone
I
M
Only
A
Cup
Of
Tea..
· Ek ameer admi ne mazdoor se poocha,
SEX mehnat hai k maza,
Mazdoor ne jawab dia maza!,
Ameer: Wop kaise?
Mazdoor: agar yeh mehnat hoti to ye kaam bhi aap ham se kerwate...
· Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi basanti in kutto k samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat main ne chaddi pehni hi nahi hai...
· lady: Dr. jee mera bacha nai ho raha?
Dr.: tumhare husband main defect hai
lady: husband main defect hai puray mohallay main tou defect nai ho sakta na?/?
· Cream k add main face dikhaya,
shampo k add main baal dikhaye,
soap k add main hands dikhaye,
magar sale log"Wisper" k add main kuch nhi dikhaya
· Newly married couple Train se jatay huay surang se guzray.
Husband: agar pata hoa surang itni lambhi hai to main koi faida hi utha laita.
Wife: to wo aap nahi thay?
· girl:na chero larkiyan kay paap hoga.kal tu bhi kisi bachi ka baap hoga. boy:khuda karay teri baat sachi ho mujhe jo papa kahay woh teri he bachi ho.
· Blood test ke baad cotton na milne par nurse ne SARDAR ki ungli muh me le li, SARDAR nachne laga, bola abhi to URINE TEST baki hai..
· Be Careful!
aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki
mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.
please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon kay pehlay he bahut se
log deewanay ho chukay hain
· Bache k peda hone per bache ki dadi : lanat hai bahu...
8 saal main sirf ek hi bacha peda kia ?
Bahu : agar aap k bete k aasrey per rehti to ye bhi nahi hota
· Bacha: Mama kal papa kaam wali ko drawin room me sofe pr lita ker
Mom: Bus! beta rat ko jab papa ayenge to batana.
Papa aye raat ko.
Ma ne bete se kaha: Han beta kya hua tha?
Beta: Papa kaam wali ko drawing room me sofe per lita ker jo uncle
apke saath karte hai wo ker rahe the
· Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro
· When U were a baby, U played with toys.
Now U are a lady and U play with boys!!
· A pathan want 2 commit suicide,
When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend
& i can"t live widout my friend.
· Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good
· 3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: i also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
· Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai
· Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale gaye.
Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat nahi hai, kal aayenge
· Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn"t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
· A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
· Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti,
to ladki bhi nahi hoti.
· Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
· Which Part...
of a man"s body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
· When an apple is green, its ready to pluck.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...
VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near,
but I know what you were thinking.
· Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite............my lovely pyjamas
· Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani
antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
· Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..
· INDIA KI REET...
Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR...
Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR...
Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... a
ur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...
· School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!]
· Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
· Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din"t wear any of them.
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
because....
90% of the
boys are
right handed..
· One day there was this naked man and elephant,
the elephant looks at the naked man for a few
seconds, ask the naked man,
"HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
· !@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__
(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$%
aakhe faad ke kya dekh
rahe ho jaki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya
· BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY,DRINK A FROOTY....
TAKE HER TO OOTY,REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY.,
AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
· Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make SEX a daily habit,and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
· He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
docter:"tu iss may problem kia hay"?
sardar :"oo jee meri ankh 8 bjay khulti hay"
· a husband n wife traveling in a train
husband:mera dil chahta hai kai tuje kutai kai aagaye daldo
another passanger sitting next to the husband
Passanger: BHaow BHAow!!!!
· nurse: congrats!! app kai ha beta paida howa hai
sardar: oye...!!! mere biwi ko maat batana mai aushe surprise donga.
· KISS IS A KEY OF LOVE,
LOVE IS LOCK OF MARRGE,
MARRIGE IS A BOX OF CHILDREN,
CHILDREN ARE PROBLEM OF PAKISTAN,
SO STOP THE KISSING AND SAVE PAKISTAN.
PLSSSSSSS…………….
· WADIYOON SE SOORAJ NIKAL AAYEA HAI,
FIZAAON ME NAYEA RANG CHHAYEA HAI,
AAP KYUN UDAAS BETHE HO,
AB TO MUSKARA DO HUMAARA SMA AAYEA HAI...
· Fizayen kehti hain pyar karo
hawain kehti hain pyar karo
ghatayen kehti hain pyar karo
lekin
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghar walay kehtay hain ke
tussi bahot chotay ho
thora intezaar karo
· Sardar: will u marry me ?
Girl: sorry i am lesbian
Sardar: wats a lesbian
Girl: i like to have sex with gals
Sardar: maar taali, I am also lesbian lolx
· Hair oil ki add main hair dikhatay hain,
skin cream ki add main skin,
toothpaste main teeth,
footwear ki ad main feet, aur Always Ultra ki add main
kuch nahi dikhatay,
``Jaag Sarif Jaag``
· Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…
· Doctor: Bolo kya taklif hai?
Mareez: Sotey waqt saans ko leney main taklif hoti hai
Doctor: Aaj sey 10 din sotey waqt saas ko nai
Saali ko ley ker sona
· Son asked his dad the difference between
LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF.
Father says; your Mom is my LOVE.
Our maid is my RILIEF &
I’m your dad- well, that’s my BELIEF...
· Sharma say 2 biwi-"Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi,
Is hisab se mein 2 shadian aur kar sakta hu.Biwi-
"Daropdi k v 5 pati the,tuje yaad hi hoga"
· Master2Banta-eh dus k Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Bnta-Sir g 6 hundian ne
Master-Oye Murkha,tenu kini vari keha k KACHHE ch hath pa k
Unglan na ginya kar
· Breaking News: Coke"ll launch a new soft drink in the world market
soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!
· Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia
: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.
· 1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai?
Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh,
Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee!
· Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,
Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo,
Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.
Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai,
Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
· What"s the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the
boundary.
· What"s the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai
· Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult
movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It"s ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.
· A gal puts coins in the weight machine to check her weight
its shows 58kg. she removes her sandle :56kg
then her jacket: 53kg
then dupatta: 52kg
then her coins got finish.
A baba in the que said" BIBI tum lagi raho coins bahut hain "
· In which place do women"s hair grows VERY THICK
and VERY CURLY???
ans:in AFRICA
· Child:Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom:Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child:Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain
· A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom
· Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
· Dil do to kisi ek ko,
Aur do to kisi nek ko...
Jo samjhe pyaar ke matlab ko..
Jab tak saccha dildar na mile,
try karte raho har ek ko.
· Har khushi teri taraf mod doon,
Tere liye chand taare tak tod doon,
khushiyo ke darwaje tere liye khol doon,
Itna kaafi hai ya do chaar jhoot aur bol du
· Definition of "wife": $omeone who"ll $tand by you through all the
trouble$
which you wouldn"t have had if you had $tayed $ingle... :-)
· Wat a married man $ay# after years of marriage:-
My marriage i$ made of Tru$t & Under$tanding,
$he doe$n"t Tru$t me & I dont Under$tand her.
· dean - anybody caught going 2 ladie$ ho$tel will be fined r$.400 1$t
time, 700 2nd time & 1000 3rd time. $tudent - how much 4 a $ea$on pa$$?
· $hah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha,
Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,
Har Khidki $e Dekha... Aur Bola...
Maa Ka$am, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
· 1 - me$$age - received -
1 - cute - per$on - $ent - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - reading - it -
1 - monkey - i$ - angry -
1 - monkey - i$ - $till - reading -
1 - monkey - wil 4ward - di$ - m$g - to - anodr - monkey !
· Unlike other$ your brain i$ a ma$ter piece,
It i$ divided in 2 part$ - left & right.
In left nothing i$ right, in right nothing i$ left.
· why do monkey$ love banana.... -
oop$ i am $o $orry ........ - that$ your per$onal matter!
· I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u"
Hey! Don"t get excited, I love other alphabet$ too...v, w, x, y, z !
· I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You.
That"$ becau$e Meneka Gandhi $ay$ "Love Animal$" !
· VERY ... Cute, Gorgeou$, Geniu$, Good-looking, Intelligent, One in
Trillion$..
I think it$ enough abt ME, wht abut U....
· The rain make$ all thing$ beautiful. The gra$$ & flower$ 2.
If rain make$ all thing$ beautiful why doe$n"t it rain on you?
· to live a life v need brain$,reflexe$, luck,iq,knowledge
expre$$ion, perce ption,
n mental qualification. ....hat$ off to u,for managing without
them!!!
· Intelligent Man + Intelligent Woman = Romance.
Intelligent Man + Stupid Woman = Pregnancy.
$tupid Man + Intelligent Woman = Affair.
$tupid Man + $tupid Woman = Marriage !
· Dhirubhai from heaven : "Beta Muke$h kai$a chal raha hai apna
reliance".
Muke$h: "Hello kon bol raha hai? thik $e $unai nahi deta. call me on
my HUTCH mobile!"
· Ikhtiyarre tabba$um ki lau ko tarranume numayi$h $e aghaa dena...
Jo i$ka matlab $amajh aaye to plea$e mujhe bhi bata dena.....
· $incere Apology : If u dont like any of my $M$ n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont he$itate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile.
· What i$ a girl friend?
Addition of problem$, $ubtraction of money,
multiplication of enemie$ & division of friend$
· doc chopra P$ychotherapi$t wanted the name board to be painted
infront of hi$ clinic ,
but our $ardar painted " Dr chopra P$ycho the rapi$t ".
· When i open my eye$ every morning i pray to God
that everyone $hould have a friend like you....
Why should only i $uffer!!!
· Ai$i do$ti hamari ki tu har rah,har dagar,har $afar mein mile.
Mar bhi jaun agar,tab bhi do$ti ki khatir,tu bagal wali kabar mein
mile
· DON..
K SMS KA iNTIZAR..
TOu 11 MULKON KE GIRLz KAR RAHi HAiN
DON..
SiRF PAPPU BACHON KO SMS KARTA HAi..!!
Q K
DON KA TALAUQ PESHAWAE SAY HAi..!!!
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Dunya mein aey ho to ker jao koi esa kam
key her gali mohaley se awaz aey Aba jan Aba jan
· Khidki khuli,
Zulfain uudi,
socha husan-o-jamal ka didar hai,
lakin kismat phooti jab zoolfain hati,
Q k
ye to nahaya ho hai!!!
· us ne haathon pe mehndi laga rakhi hai
ham ne us ki doli bhi utha rakhi hai
mujhe pata tha ke woh niklay gi bewafa
isi liye hum ne us ki choti behen bhi phassa rakhi hai
· Mohabbat 1 se ho to bholapan hai
2 se ho tou apna pan hai
3 se ho tou deewanapan hai
4 se ho tou pagal pan hai
phir bhi counting na rukey to KAMEENA PAN hai
· 1 Day u"ll B $rpri$d 2 c Me Be$ide U,
U & Me laughing,
U & Me crying,
U & Me Dreaming,
U & Me holding on,
U & Me...
ju$t U & Me $itting in a MENTAL HO$PITAL & ME CHECKING U.
· From Mon to $un, >From jan to Dec,
From birth till my Death,
my feeling$ 4 u have never changed.
For me, you "ve alway$ been
...........a headache!
· Falling in love i$ a $weet ambition,
finding true love i$ a kife time mi$$ion..
Take my word, follow the indian tradition
& marry ur dad"$ Deci$ion !
· Maine poocha chand $e
"dekha hai kahin mere yar $a ha$in".
Chand ne kaha
"abey, itni upar $e dikhta hai kiya",
· it"$ funny when people di$cus$ LOVE MARRIAGE v$ ARRANGED- it"$ like
a$king $omeone, if $uicide i$ better or being murdered..
· $aa$ $aw her bahu $leeping with other man,
but $he didn"t tell her $on becau$e..
· What"$ the $imilarity beyween MOBILE and MARRIAGE- in both ca$e you
feel "aur thoda ruk jaata tu accha model milta"
· Sir NEWTON once sat in a contemplative mood in a garden
}and saw an apple falling down to the ground.
At once the idea of LAW OF GRAVITY came to his mind.
I Wonder sala 23 saal tatti karda riha, oh kehra thaley
dig k upar nu mur-di si udo usda dimag kithe si....!!!
· Theater me Nari-pradhan film chal rahi thi.
Ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli : Aaj ki nari kya nahi kar sakti?
Ek sardar khada ho kar bola : DIWAR PE SUSU.
· Shair of the day !
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
Tumhari mashuka kitni bhi sharif hogi...
-
-
-
Nahati to NaNgi hi hogi
· Wife bought a new transparent nighty , Wore it in front of husband.
" Ismein tum bahut sexy laag rahi ho . wife= aapko batane ki
zaroorat nai hai , salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha
· Husband Apni Wife Se: Mera Dost
Aaya Hain 2 Cup Chai Lao.
Wife: Aap Jara Idhar Aayiye. Ghar
Mein Sugar Nahi Hain.
Husband: Koi Baat Nahi Mujhe To 1
Chamach Chahiye. Tum 1 Kiss Dena
Chai Khud Meethi Ho Jayegi.
Wife: Lekin Aap Ke Dost KO To 2
Chamach, Chahiye!!!
· Meaning of WIFE & HUSBAND.. Wonderful Item For Entertainment .....
handsome Useful Smart But At Night Dangerous
· Ladki ki t-shirt pe bani billi ko ladka ghoorne laga .
Ladki : kabhi billi nahi dekhi kya ?
Ladka : billi to dekhi par billi ko DOOODH ki rakhwali karte pehli
baar dekha hai
· Diffirance between aurat & mard phychology ?
Aurat chahti hai ki uski sari ichha 1 aadmi puri kare, aur mard
chahta hai ki uski 1 ichha sari aauraten puri kare
· Ek mechanical engineer ki wife ko delivery hui, wife ne husband ko
SMS bheja, aapka spare part aa gaya hai .
Husband ne reply mai poocha NUT hai ya BOLT ..?
o Legs utha ke karo,
Tange faila ke karo,
Ghuma ghuma ke karo,
Aage peechey dono taraf karo,
Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga
Oye I"m talking abt Yoga
· Shadi karney aur mobile leney k baad 1 hi
cheez ka afsos hot hey. . . . .
Thory arsy baad leta to acha model mil jata
· Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab
Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
· Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when
a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
· An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl:
Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur
doosre inke din kum.
· In a crowed bus lady turns & said ?Bhai saab aap aacha nahi kar rahe ho.,
Man replied: itni bheed mai isse acha nahi kar sakta.........??????
· A Chinese man files for divorce
Judge: What"s the reason?
Chinese: Me no come, she no come, baby come, how come
Judge: May be side income
· Koi saheli nahi to na sahi,
tere jaisa dost to mil gaya,
Chalo CHUT nahi mili to na sahi
hume CHUTIYA to mil gaya...
· Teacher: Who is Sania Mirza?
Student: Tennis player.
Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat?
Student: Penis Player!!
· What is the definition of a dhobi?
He"s the only man who can legally say to a married woman,"Kapre nikal
ke rakhna,main aata hoon."
· Dost tu mere liye bahot khaas hai,
Bass ab tujhse milne ki pyass hai,
jis din tu mere saamne aaya....
samajh lena teri GAND ka satyanash hai...
· Kehte hai ki aurat ke haath mein barkat hoti hai, bilkul sahi baat
hai 1 inch ki cheez lete hi 6 inch ka bana deti hai...............!
· Boy to gal: agar mein tumhe kiss
karu to tum kya sochogi?
gal: I think.. ek bevkuf jo pura USA
ghum sakta tha airport se hi vapas gaya...
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· arz kiya ha samundar mein water
water mein fish
apko salam apki girlfriend ko kiss
· If
2x2x2= 8
&
4x4x4= 64
than
13x13x13=?
socho socho
nahi maloom?
yaar
it mean
tera tera tera = suroooor
· A man married a traffic inspector
Friend: Howz your 1st night?
Man: She charged me Rs200 for overspeeding n Rs500 for wrong side entry
& 50 for no helmet!
· Director to Malika Sherawat, Suhaag raat ka scene hai aap usey
garam dhoodh ka glass deti hain
Malika: Glass sey hee dhoodh pilana tha tou mujhe kioun cast kia?
· Reema se ek program main kisi ne sawal pocha: aap subah auth ker
sub se pehle kia kaam kerti hain??
Reema: Apne ghar jati hon...
· judge: y u want divorce ?
man: main apni wife sy khush nhi .
judge 2 wife: yeh sai keh rha hay ?
wife: saaraa muhalla khush hy bus asi ko takleef hy
· Na kisi ko chero ko,
Na kisi sa panga lia karo,
Na kisi ko dil diya karo,
Na kisi sa dil li karo,
Healthy life jiya karo
Roz ROz Roz
GOOD MILK piya karo
· sardar key promotion ho gayi exective se manager wo ghar gaya
b.v ko new style main bataya "tu aj raat manager naal soye gi"
b.v behosh
· barsat ki us raat
woh larki
us ki geeli zulfain
us ke bheegay huay kapray dekh ke dil ne kaha
ye ullu ki pathi zaroor beemar ho gi
· anso nilklay tu aankhay meri ho,
dil dharkay tu dharkan meri ho
khuda kary hamry dosti itnee gehri ho,
k nokri tu karay aur salary meri ho...
· jab kissi ki taraf dil jhuknay lagay
baat aa kay zubaan tak ruknay lagay
to
to
to
to
vicks! khich khich door bhagaye
· I love you Everyday
I like you Everyday
I miss you Everyday
I want you Everyday
I need you Everyday
Kyon kay
Everyday ke baghair tea ka maza adhoora
· Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
NOthing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile
· I want a kiss from you
surprized??
but why??
aray baba
Kiss means
K> Koi
I> Intresting sa
S> sms
S> send karo
so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!
· Girl:i m going 2 b a mother!
Boy:but how?i have not done any thing with u!
Girl:dont worry.ur father has proposed me and i m going 2 marry him!
· indian President to Musharraf:hamare pas Ashwaria hai
Bipasha hai Shushmita hai. Tumhare paas kiya hai?
Musharraf: Hamare paas jagah hai sub ko le aoo..
· Once a guy said to a girl: Mam apki sendal badi piyari hai.
Girl said: Utaroon kaya?
Guy said: Mam jeans ziada pyari hai.
· I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.
…
…. Nice Ass!!!!!!! ;)
· Kaun Kehta hai k "Mobile" aur "Biwi" alag hain...
Dono ko paas rakhna parhta hai,
Dono ka khayaal rakhna parhta hai,
Aur dono ko raat mai charge karna parhta hai ;)
· Mallika Sherewat ke marne k bad uski kabar pe kya likhna hoga?
…………guess…………
SALI PEHLI BAAR AKELI SOYI HAI.
· A man Phoned & Asked: Hello is it 221714?
Oprator:Urdu Main Bolo,
Man:Do Do Aik Saat Choda?
Oprator:Nahin Sir,Yeh Cheif Minister House hai,
Teen Teen Aik Saat Choda.
· Definition of a Nurse:
A young and beautiful woman who
fingers u in all places and holds
ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be
Normal..!
· Boy 2 his girlfriend while making love :
Kyun na hum shaadi ker lien?
Girl: TUM sirf ride ka maza lo,
disneyland k malik banne ki koshish mat karo
· aap aurat ho ya mard yeh janne k liye neeche dekho
Idher neeche nai
apne neeche dekho :)
· Sardar k 8 bachon main 1 alag dikhta tha,
Jab sardar marney laga to us ne bivi se poocha
"ab to bata do yeh kis ka hai?"
Sardarni: Yeh hi to aap ka hai..
· Thought of the day...
Kabhi yeh mat socho tumhari girlfriend ne tumhe kitna sexy msg bheja hai..
Hamesha socho usey kisne bheja hoga....?
· A very Sexy n Attractive female employee to her boss
Sir, will u remove some thing from my breast?
Boss wow, whats that??
ur eyes sir…
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· A guy meets a girl in the bar and she goes home with him.
When they are relaxing after making love, he asks,
"Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
She looks at him for a few moments and says,
"of course you are!" she said. "Why do you men
always ask that same stupid questions?"
· Put ur
Hand
On my
Hand
& hold
My
Back
With ur
Other
Hand,
Touch ur Lips
With my Lips
&
Taste
How hot
I M!
Bas bas
Ziada
Free
Mat Hone
I
M
Only
A
Cup
Of
Tea..
· Ek ameer admi ne mazdoor se poocha,
SEX mehnat hai k maza,
Mazdoor ne jawab dia maza!,
Ameer: Wop kaise?
Mazdoor: agar yeh mehnat hoti to ye kaam bhi aap ham se kerwate...
· Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi basanti in kutto k samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat main ne chaddi pehni hi nahi hai...
· lady: Dr. jee mera bacha nai ho raha?
Dr.: tumhare husband main defect hai
lady: husband main defect hai puray mohallay main tou defect nai ho sakta na?/?
· Cream k add main face dikhaya,
shampo k add main baal dikhaye,
soap k add main hands dikhaye,
magar sale log"Wisper" k add main kuch nhi dikhaya
· Newly married couple Train se jatay huay surang se guzray.
Husband: agar pata hoa surang itni lambhi hai to main koi faida hi utha laita.
Wife: to wo aap nahi thay?
· girl:na chero larkiyan kay paap hoga.kal tu bhi kisi bachi ka baap hoga. boy:khuda karay teri baat sachi ho mujhe jo papa kahay woh teri he bachi ho.
· Blood test ke baad cotton na milne par nurse ne SARDAR ki ungli muh me le li, SARDAR nachne laga, bola abhi to URINE TEST baki hai..
· Be Careful!
aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki
mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.
please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon kay pehlay he bahut se
log deewanay ho chukay hain
· Bache k peda hone per bache ki dadi : lanat hai bahu...
8 saal main sirf ek hi bacha peda kia ?
Bahu : agar aap k bete k aasrey per rehti to ye bhi nahi hota
· Bacha: Mama kal papa kaam wali ko drawin room me sofe pr lita ker
Mom: Bus! beta rat ko jab papa ayenge to batana.
Papa aye raat ko.
Ma ne bete se kaha: Han beta kya hua tha?
Beta: Papa kaam wali ko drawing room me sofe per lita ker jo uncle
apke saath karte hai wo ker rahe the
· Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro
· When U were a baby, U played with toys.
Now U are a lady and U play with boys!!
· A pathan want 2 commit suicide,
When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend
& i can"t live widout my friend.
· Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good
· 3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: i also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
· Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai
· Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale gaye.
Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat nahi hai, kal aayenge
· Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn"t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
· A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
· Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti,
to ladki bhi nahi hoti.
· Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
· Which Part...
of a man"s body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
· When an apple is green, its ready to pluck.
When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...
VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near,
but I know what you were thinking.
· Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite............my lovely pyjamas
· Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani
antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
· Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..
· INDIA KI REET...
Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR...
Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR...
Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... a
ur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...
· School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!]
· Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
· Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din"t wear any of them.
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
· Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
because....
90% of the
boys are
right handed..
· One day there was this naked man and elephant,
the elephant looks at the naked man for a few
seconds, ask the naked man,
"HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
· !@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__
(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$%
aakhe faad ke kya dekh
rahe ho jaki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya
· BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY,DRINK A FROOTY....
TAKE HER TO OOTY,REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY.,
AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
· Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make SEX a daily habit,and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
· He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
hahaha........A nice collection of slightly adult sms collection for u my frens......
Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.
Dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!
Biwi pani se bohat darti hai
Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?
Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet
In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.
Itnay saray bachay aik sath
Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…
Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!
Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?
Boy:bilkul nahi!
Girl:to phir rehne do…
Sardar on phone:
Sardar on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…
Catch her by her waist…Put ur lips on her lips…
Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI
Can kids of our age have kids?
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
boy said to girl :” see i told you to not to worry!!!!”.
aaj tumhein akeiley mein….
aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
le ja kar…
apney hontoon se eik…
k…
ki…
kis..
kiss…
kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……….
He came at night, explored my body ….
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!
Yeh sokha ander jata hay, aur gila bahir ata hay….
Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur,Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG ,Kahty Hain.
A girl phoned me
A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home
Last nite i went 2 bed without u…cold,naked…
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u “lastnite”
Come here, take off your pents and knickers
Come here, take off your pents and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving yours…..toilet!
Always start your day with a lot of S E X …
Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.
In a bothroom, boy touches a girl everywhere
In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.
pehlay hath mai lo, phir mun mai …
pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna
I want to suck you … lick you
I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!
Us nay kaha aur dabao
us ne kaha or dabao,
main dabaya,
us ne kaha or dabao,
main ne or dabaya,
us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya,
us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya . . . �
dekha ho gya na suit case band:)
Aik bar karo na plz…
Aik bar karo na plz..
kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
plz karo naaa……..
muje acha lage ga…
aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
kar do na plzz…
aik pyara sa SMS!!!
Let me kiss your lips
Let me kiss ur lips, let me feel ur teeth, let me feel ur tongue.SMILE!This is ur friend “PEPSODENT” reminding you to brush ur teeth,Twice a day Everyday
Teri sula ke lu?
teri sula ke lu?
ya bitha ke lu?
ya tujhe karu khada
ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
ab tu hi bata
ki mein teri…
photo kaise lu.
Can we do romance in the midnight today
Can�we do romance in the midnight today? I’m in a good mood:) Just a little bit of kissing and biting!! Reply me soon, yours Loving Mosquito.
I really deeply wish … on my bed
I really deeply wish dat u r here with me in my room. on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
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